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The great peanut butter debate

9 May 2011

I bought a jar of Peanut Butter & Co.’s Cinnamon Raisin Swirl peanut butter last week because it was on sale (!) and because I have been lusting after it for about a month.

Immediately upon returning home, I eagerly unscrewed the bright blue cap, tore off the jar’s protective seal and sunk a spoon into the gooey stuff.  Still standing over my bag of groceries, I stuffed it into my mouth and grabbed the kitchen counter to steady myself.

It. was. delicious.

It was so delicious, in fact, that I dug my spoon into the jar a second time (not hygenic, I know).  It still tasted good.  The raisins, the cinnamon, the SUGAR.  I was faced with three of my food weaknesses combined into one: nut butter, dried fruit, and pure, unadulterated sugar.  Oh lord, the back of my mind said as I regretfully screwed the cap back on.  What in the hell did I just get myself into.

Only rarely do I have a problem with the food I eat.  This peanut butter happened to be one of them.

grilled cinnamon raisin peanut butter and rasperry jelly

Why, you ask?  How could you possibly dislike this apparent gift from the gods of peanut butter, you ask?

It was too damn delicious.

Two mornings later I opened up the jar to get a little taste of the sweet stuff before breakfast (classy, I know).  I peered into the depths of the hole I had created on on side to get to all of the raisins that were sitting on the bottom.  Then I realized: it was halfway gone.

No wonder my pants felt a little too tight the day before.  No wonder I’ve been avoiding mirrors.

I pondered my dilemma (over a spoonful of peanut butter, of course).  The conclusion was reached: it had to be disposed of.  At first, I didn’t want to get rid of it.  I really, really didn’t want to.  To dismiss any hesitation, I asked myself: is it better to do good for my taste buds or my ass?

Obviously, the answer is the latter.  So in the name of all assery, I chucked my half-eaten jar of peanut butter in the garbage can.  It looked so sad lying there before its time was up.  I pushed a few used paper towels on top of it and said my final goodbyes.

The good thing is, this peanut butter is delicious.  The bad thing?  It’s addictive.  If I ever get a hankering for it again, I know exactly what I’m going to do – combine peanut butter, cinnamon, and raisins.  No purchase necessary.

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